Friday, March 25, 2011

On Knight Online

Knight Online is a fantasy MMORPG from GamersFirst.

Where do I start with this thing?

You start off having to find the server that works best and has the fewest crowding of random spam- ah, I mean players. You have to choose your faction, right at the beginning. You must choose between Dated Graphics Floaty Red Crystal Bighead Faction, or Humany Townlamp Slightly OK Faction. And if you want to change factions, or even create a character in the other faction, you must delete ALL characters in the original faction. The game has the four boring stereotypical hey-we're-crappier-than-D&D classes, Warriors, Magicians, Priests, and the Slightly-More-Squishy-Than-Warriors-But-Stabbier Rogues. The Townlamp Faction has three "races", one Big Hulking All-Warrior-Grunt-Grunt-Conan Barbarians, Male We're-Actually-Humans and Female We're-Actually-Humans. Well, that's an exciting selection. Big musclehead warriors, or boring humans.

The Crystally Bighead Faction for some reason allows female characters to be spellcasters only, of the four races. Big Muscleheads, Big Megabrains, or More Boring Humans.

Once you are in the game, there's no tutorials, no real direction. Just a note at the corner of your screen that says "By the way, if you could find this lost kid that we forced you to try to find, despite not telling you where the hell she actually is, or giving you any real clue how to find anything in the game." And the tens of thousands of merchant stalls. I'm serious. It is like walking into a farmer's market, if every farmer from the Western hemisphere decided they were going to dud out in their best suit of armor and stand around with a big sign over their head saying "BUY MY THINGS, EVEN IF I NEVER TELL YOU WHAT THEY ARE!"

It suffices to say, without any real clue where to go or what to do, I decided to check out that other faction.

But you can't delete characters without a premium account.

And you cant' login to any of the other 25 servers without a premium account.

Brilliant!

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